


New Moon Rewrite

by chickencatsoup



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:20:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25223023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chickencatsoup/pseuds/chickencatsoup
Summary: New moon rewrite. I want to get into Jacob and Bella really being together but this is my first time ever writing anything sooo idk.
Relationships: Jacob Black/Bella Swan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Learning to Breathe](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23778364) by [Nathalie_etc](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nathalie_etc/pseuds/Nathalie_etc). 



October 

I feel so alone. All my emotions are stuck in my throat, choking me and sitting hard on my chest. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. 

November 

My vision is blurred. My head looks in one direction but I cannot see. When my eyes finally focus, I see nothing in front of me. There is nothing, and there never will be anything again. 

December 

I am weak. My face is slack. My body is numb. 

January 

Nothingness. 

February 

Bam! “I'm sending you back to Jacksonville with your mother!” Charlie’s fist had just slammed on the table shaking the spoon in my untouched cereal. 

I snapped my head up confused. “Why? What did I do?” 

“Nothing and that’s the problem!” Charlie sighed shaking his head while I shrank back in my seat. 

“Look, I just don’t think being here is helping anything. It’s been months and you don’t seem to have recovered at all. I just want to see you happy. A smile. Anything.” 

I didn’t know what to say. I hadn't realized I was being watched like that. I didn’t really think about much these days anyway. 

“I know, but I don’t want to leave.” My gaze had wandered back to my bowl. 

“Well then we have to do something.” 

I pondered for a minute trying to remember how to think. “What if I went out? I’ve been needing a new book to read”, I lied. 

“With who?” 

I didn’t know I needed a babysitter also. 

“Jessica. She’s been dying to go to Seattle. We can make a whole day of it.” I tried to make the words as convincing as possible. Even though I know there is no way Jessica would have the time of day for me anymore. 

“That sounds perfect. Let’s start there.” Charlie got up with his dishes, put them in the sink, and was out the door. 

Start? 

I got up to dump my breakfast out like I did every morning and I stopped and looked at it. I realized I hadn’t really been eating like I should have been so I took a big mouthful. Maybe this can be a start for something. I really do feel guilty about neglecting Charlie. He doesn’t need to worry about me. I want to make good on my promise to him. Even if I can’t get Jessica to go with me, I can always lie and go by myself. That sounds like the perfect back up plan to me. 

When I got to class, I sat down in my usual seat next to Jessica who was also next to Lauren. I couldn’t even bother to listen to what they were talking about. 

“Hey.” 

They jerked their heads simultaneously like they had heard a dog talking. 

“Hi me?”, she said with her eyebrows scrunched. 

“Yeah. How’s it going.” I didn’t really care 

“Fine.” And neither did she. 

“I was wondering if you wanted to go to Seattle with me this weekend. I need to find some new books and was wondering if you wanted to have a girl’s day with me?” Hopefully the feminine add on at the end would hook her in. 

“Oh. Uhm, I actually have to help my mom take care of my grandma all weekend. She’s coming all the way from Austin so I can’t.” 

“Oh, I understand. Maybe next time.” 

“For sure.” She turned back to Lauren to finish their conversation that I still don’t know what it is about. 

Looks like I'm going alone. 

After school I sit in my car thinking about what to do next. I figure since I’m trying to stay sane for Charlie I might as well do some grocery shopping. I haven’t been in months so Charlie’s been left to his own devices for meals. Come to think of it I really don’t remember what he’s been cooking but honestly, it’s probably for the best. When I leave the store, I have everything I need for fish fry, lasagna, and enchiladas. I feel a little rush of excitement. It’s been so long since I've cooked that I'm actually looking forward to it. 

I get home and I start preparing for dinner. I cut all my veggies with care and sauté them with the beef. After all the construction I put it in the oven to bake and get started on the dishes. I figure I might as well get some homework done while I wait. After an hour, Charlie comes home and looks around suspiciously. 

“Are you cooking dinner?” 

“Uh huh.” I answer him with without looking up from my work. 

“Oh. Well. I. Uhm.” I look up at him waiting for his reply. 

“Okay then.” he finally says with confused look on his face. “What are you making then? 

“Lasagna. It actually should be ready by now.” I get up and get it out of the oven and set it on the stove top to cool for a few minutes. 

Charlie comes up behind me, “Wow. It looks really good Bells.” and he walks away to hang up his gun and jacket. 

“Thanks.” It actually felt really good and rewarding to do something that I used to do before. Probably because I actually felt something. It seems like normalcy is trying to creep back into my life. I wonder if I even want it back. As I think this Charlie breaks my train of thought talking from the other room. 

“I invited Billy over to watch the game and have pizza tonight, but I think what you’ve got is even better.” He stops and looks at me worried, like as soon as he blinks, I'll disappear. “Unless you want me to cancel. If you want to, we can just spend the evening together.” 

“Absolutely not. It will be fun to have him over. Plus, you know I’m not fun to watch the game with.” I raised my eyebrows at him. 

“Alright. Sounds good to me.” He tried to seem causal, but I could see the relief in him. Relief that I was doing something remotely normal. I didn’t seem bothered by it either. It seems so alien to me to actively do things. Maybe normalcy is what I want. Maybe it’s just what I need. 

Billy and Jacob arrive right as I’m cutting the lasagna up and plating it. I can hear Charlie damn near bragging about it as he lets them in. I look at Billy and Jacob as I give them their plates. 

“Hey it’s nice to see you guys.” I force a little smile out. It probably didn’t look real at all, but they smiled back. 

“Nice to see you as always Bella and thank you for dinner. Charlie here can’t seem to stop talking about it.” 

“Alright, okay, come on. The game is gonna start any minute now.” Charlie wheeled Billy over to the couch. I grab Charlie’s and my plate and we all eat in the living room watching TV. 

“Woah. I didn’t know you were an Italian pro chef.” Jacob teased. He flashed his big silly grin at me. 

“Of course. Didn’t you know I actually owned a restaurant in Tuscany, but decided the Italian life wasn’t for me and moved on here to little old Forks.” I joked back. 

“You know I never knew that. You learn something new every day huh.” We smiled at each other and laughed a little. 

I picked up all the empty plates 

“Want to help me finish these dishes off?”, I asked Jacob. 

“Sure, no problem.” He got up and followed me into the kitchen. I washed and he dried. 

“So, what have you been up to lately?” I actually cared. I hadn’t talked to Jacob in so long I can’t remember anything he was doing. 

“Just working on restoring my car. It’s a Volkswagen Rabbit. I still need some more parts for it though.” 

“That sounds awesome.” 

“What about you, what have you been up to.” He smiles at me and nudges me with his arm over and over again until I’m stumbling. It makes us both laugh. 

“I haven’t been doing anything at all. Actually, I am planning on going to Seattle this weekend and look for some new books. Did you want to go with me?” I didn’t even think about it. It just came out. It was easy being with Jacob. He was so likeable and fun. I genuinely wanted to spend more time with him. 

He beamed that big smile at me. “Sure, that sounds like fun.”


	2. Chapter 2

Saturday finally gets here and I’ve been waiting for this day all week. I’m actually excited to spend the day with Jacob. I make the drive up to the reservation and pull up at his house. I see someone peeking out through the blinds and before I can turn the truck off, he’s already running out. He pulls open the heavy, rusted door and hops in with me. Now that I think about it, he’s a lot taller than I remember him being. And a lot more muscular. 

“Woah. When did the big growth spurt hit?” 

“Oh, you know. A few feet here a few feet there.”, he said sarcastically. 

“So how tall are you now, like 10 feet?” 

“No more like 12 feet.” he said with a sly grin. 

“Oh yeah definitely. My bad. Didn’t mean to undersell you.” We laughed and I started driving off to the city. 

“So where exactly are we headed to in Seattle?” He shifted into the seat so he was slightly facing me instead of the road. 

“You know I’m not exactly sure. Do you have any ideas?” 

He looked at me incredulously. “So you’re driving 3 hours to a city you’ve never been to with absolutely no idea of what to do or where to go?” 

I felt a little sheepish at his observation. Maybe I should have planned a little better for an actual trip instead of betting on Jessica flaking on me and winging it. 

“You know what, I know a really nice spot we can go to and have some lunch if you want. That way next time we hang out we can go to Seattle with a plan and maybe a map or something.” 

“That actually sounds like a fantastic plan. Your growth spurt must have aged your brain a little bit too. Look at you making plans like a big kid.” 

“Bella, I’m only a few months younger than you. You act like I’m 10 or something.” He rolled his eyes. “Okay so the place I’m thinking of isn’t too far from first beach. Let’s head over there.” 

We arrive at first beach with our lunch we got from down the street and started heading towards the fallen tree where we he told me about....the cold ones. We trek through the thin woods that gradually 

incline. Jacob carries the food and holds my hand probably knowing I’d fall and have to go to the emergency room if I went down. We reach a small clearing of the trees where there is a ledge. I look over and I can see the water lapping at the small cliff we were on about only 20 feet from the water’s surface. There are wild flowers starting to bloom from the edge of the woods and a large flat-topped rock for us both to sit on comfortably. The breeze coming from the ocean is exceptionally brisk but the sun was trying to shine so I didn’t mind the outside lunch. 

“You know if we come back in a month or so the weather will be a little warmer and the flowers will really start to take over.” Jacob started unwrapping his burger and eating it while looking out to the horizon. 

“That’s sounds wonderful. I’d love to come back and see. Do you come up here often?” 

“Not too much anymore.” Jacobs eyes shot down to his lap. “About 3 years ago I started getting really depressed. I’m not exactly sure why, nothing had happened to me but I just didn’t feel good. I hated myself. I felt ugly and unwanted and,” His eyes studied the grass searching for his words. “I don’t know I just didn’t feel like I was worth anything. One day while I was wondering on the beach, I found this little spot. I thought it was so peaceful. I was able to get out of my own head for a few minutes and just exist. Just simply be. It was honestly really life changing to stop thinking for once. It made me look back onto myself and see what I had done. I had berated myself into being nothing even though I was something. It took a couple more months of work to actually turn things around. After that I feel like I really started to, kind of, flourish.” He smiled at his own recollection. “I don’t really feel the need to come here anymore but I thought it was a nice place to show you.” 

He looked up at me with his warm eyes searching mine. He reached his hand and held my cheek wiping away a tear I hadn’t even realized had fallen. I melted into his warm hand. I could feel the care seeping into me through it. He dropped his hand and scooted closer to me. I rested my head on his shoulder and we looked back out to the ocean. 

“Jacob?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Did you bring me here....because....” 

“I brought you to a beautiful place that matched that beautiful face.” He snuck a grin at me. “How you feel about being here is your business.” 

He put his arm around my shoulder holding me snug to his side. For the first time in my life, I feel truly valued and cared for. No one, even my own parents have made me feel this way. Renee was always too childish for her own good and Charlie is too much like me to butt into someone else's problems. The way he acted at breakfast last week was even unlike him, but I’m glad it happened. I finally feel again and it feels good. I let a few tears slip out and leave them there. My chest lightens and the breath comes full into my lungs. New, fresh, and invigorating. I close my eyes, take another deep breath and imagine all the smells. The grassy pine, earthy moss, the salty sea drift into me, filling me. With my exhale comes peace. I look up at Jacob and say, “I think I’m ready to head back now.” 

“Alright I’ll grab the trash.” Jacob collected everything and reached for my hand. “Mind if I drive on the way back. I never really get to since my car is still in the works.” 

I shot my eyes at him and then resolved. “I guess, but you treat her like the sweet old lady she is. Don’t be aggressive and reckless.” 

He laughed, “I won't, I promise.” 

We get into the truck and I surrender my keys. “Why are you so far away?” Jacob grabs my waist and pulls me back to the way we sat on the rock. I smile and close my eyes. 

“I’m so exhausted. We didn’t even really do anything.” I sigh into his arm. 

“Sometimes emotional work is the hardest things to do.” Jacob looked over at me as he said this but it was no use. I was already asleep. 

I sprang up. I was laying on Jacob’s couch. “How did I get here?” I was still confused from waking up. 

Jacob was sitting next to me watching TV. “I carried you in. You were really out so I figured it would be best to just let you sleep. Obviously, you really needed it.” 

“What time is it?” I rubbed my eyes and stretched my arms and legs. 

“Close to 8.” I fumbled trying to jump off the couch, but before I could even get it out of my mouth Jacob said, “Don’t worry I already called Charlie and told him everything.” 

“Thank you.” I sighed with relief. Wouldn’t really be helping Charlie now for me to just up and disappear. “Still I should start heading back home. Don’t want him worrying about me.” 

Jacob walks me out to my truck. “I see it’s still in one piece.”, I said. 

“I told you not to worry, didn’t I?” Jacob had a triumphant look about him. “I had a really great time today.” His eyes softened as he said it. 

I looked back at him and with sincerity told him, “I did too.” 

He pulled me into a huge bear hug lifting me off my feet and I nuzzled into him. He set me down and held my head with both of his huge, warm hands, “I’ll see you soon Bells.” and kissed me tenderly on the forehead. 

“See ya soon.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm literally whipping these out as fast as I can while I still have a little bit of a writing bug so if you find grammar problems or plot holes i'm sorry. I really hope you enjoy. Thank you for reading.

I had been hanging out with Jacob almost every day after school and all weekend. February had finally taken the last of the snow with it and now March had tried to shine through with about a 5-degree difference. It’s okay though because I had my own personal sun that just so happened to be a natural space heater. Nights are still bad though. Being alone with my thoughts was becoming too much so I started writing things down just to try and process them. I also started listening to some of Jake’s favorite bands. It’s not something I would usually listen to, but he insisted I tried them out. I like to listen to the CD’s over and over again like he’s here with me, then I write down how I feel and the picture of myself gets clearer as I read it back. We finally made plans to actually go to Seattle this weekend. We decided to go and watch a movie and then eat dinner at Assaggio Ristaurante. It seemed to be the only place in the area that wasn’t too expensive; plus, Jacob insisted we eat Italian food so he can compare it to my pro chef Tuscan restaurant lasagna. The main part we’re driving down for is to drive around and see some of the sights. 

I got up in the morning and showered and combed through my hair. It looks a lot better now. Before, it was so knotted I honestly thought I might have to shave it. Now it’s shinier and I’ve started to grow out some of my old split ends I cut. I decided that since it was still pretty cold outside, I would go ahead and wear a light-weight sweater and some jeans. I danced down the stairs and started pouring my cereal while Charlie ate some toast. 

“Looking good there kiddo. Got plans with Jake today?” 

“Yup were going on a day trip to Seattle. Lunch, movie, and then see some sights.” I sat down across from him eating quickly so I could leave. 

“Sure are spending a lot of time with him lately.” Charlie looked at me with a classic dad look. One that said "you better not be getting into any trouble.” 

“Well, yeah Dad he’s like literally my best friend.” I’m not exactly sure what he’s trying to say? I’m always home on time, we always find time for our homework, and we don’t do anything reckless. 

He didn’t respond to that he just picked up the newspaper and finished off his toast. He got up and put on his jacket and gun. “Alright then Bells, I’m off. Be careful okay.” 

“I will Dad.” 

He kissed my head quickly and before he walked out, he turned and said, “Bella.....I...love you.” 

We both looked red with embarrassment. I managed to stutter back, “I love you too dad.” 

And I do love him, even though we don’t “do things” together. I liked our relationship that way. He lets me be myself and if our paths cross then its pleasant and never forced. I’m finishing my last bite of breakfast when I hear a horn honking. I run to the front window and lookout and see Jacob with the Rabbit. 

“Oh my God, Jake! I thought you weren’t going to be done for a few more weeks.” I looked both him and the car up and down, swelling up with pride. 

“Well I managed to scrounge a few old parts from the junkyard. They’ll eventually need new ones, but for now she’s all good and ready to go. I wanted to finish early so that way I could surprise you.” He closed the distance between us and grabbed my hands. 

“Oh, I am definitely surprised. This is so awesome Jake I can’t believe it. Can we drive it out of town today?” I beamed up at him. 

“Absolutely that’s what I drove her over her for.” 

I ran back inside to finish cleaning up my food, grab my wallet and lock up. 

“So, I assume that you will be driving us around.” I said as a met him back outside. 

“Of course.” He opened the passenger side door for me and I slid in. “Only the best treatment for madame.” He said with a pretentious bow. I just rolled my eyes and smiled. 

The car ride went by in a flash. Jacob told me a few of the Quileute stories and I told him about what I had been writing down and how I had been feeling lately. I would never tall anyone these things, but something about being with Jacob was just so easy. I just wanted him to know every part of me and I wanted to know everything about him. My personal sun. 

We decided to watch a movie first. Of course, I couldn’t stand to watch a romance so we went with something bloody and gory. We didn’t get anything to eat or drink since we going to lunch afterwards so we just found our seats in the middle of the theater. “You know most people think the best place to be is in the front, but the picture and sound were built for the middle.” Jake said with a cocky smile. 

“I’ve never heard of anyone that voluntarily wanted to sit in the front. You get a neck cramp from looking up for so long”, I rebutted. 

“No. Most people do think the front is best!”, he whispered confidently. 

“Then why is no one there now!” 

I pointed to the front that was dead empty and then showcased the surrounding seats that were all filled up. 

“Well, everyone I’ve ever talked to wants to sit in the front so they’re closer.”, he said indignantly. 

“Oh no way. You admit I was right! No one has ever wanted to be that close. You were wrong.” I stared for a minute at him, expecting him so argue back. 

“Okay, okay. I was wrong. You’re always right.” He grabbed my hand, rubbed it to his cheek, and then held it in his lap. 

The movie was awful. The fake blood and unconvincing acting made Jake and I giggle through the whole thing. 

“Someone would never bleed that much from that little wound! Oh my God, look how far it shot out.”, Jake said. 

“I know this is ridiculous.”, I replied back. 

“You want to leave a few minutes early so that way we miss the crowd.”, he asked. 

“Yeah. I’m actually starving now.” We got up and shuffled out. 

We get to the restaurant and order our drinks. I’m perusing the menu trying to decide between the chicken piccata and the clam linguini. “Wow, these both sound awesome. Which one do you thing I should get?” 

“I don’t know about you, but I’m getting the lasagna.”, he said. 

“I think I’m going to get the linguini.”, I resolved. 

After we ate drove around for a little bit taking in the city. We drove back to Jacob’s house to relax the rest of the night. I was laying on the couch with my feet on Jacob’s lap taking a nap. When I woke up, I saw Jacob watching me, smiling. “What are you looking at?”, I mumbled. 

“Just the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” 

“Yeah, yeah real funny.”, I replied. 

He was tracing a pattern into my leg when he said, “You know you talk a lot in your sleep.” 

I shot my eyes open and jerked up in horror. I had forgotten about that since I hadn’t slept around anyone in so long. “Oh my God, what was I saying!” I buried my face in my hands to hide myself. 

Jacob laughed at me and pulled me onto him. “It was really nothing. Most of it I couldn’t understand. I think it was just a part of your dreams. Although I think I caught my name in there a few times.” 

I groaned, still unwilling to show may face. I do dream about Jake pretty often. Actually, almost every night now. My face is burning up with blood. 

“Calm down Bella. It’s alright.”, he pulled my head out of my grip and looked into my eyes. 

I relaxed, gazing back at him. Sometimes I forget how truly beautiful he looks. His warm russet skin contrasting his long shiny black hair. Inviting eyes with long dark lashes. I gazed down and put my hand on his muscular chest. He must have taken his shirt while I was sleeping. The words I was thinking slipped out. “You know you’re sort of beautiful right?” 

Jacob gave a small husky laugh. He put a hand on my face and leaned into me. Startled, I stood up and out of his reach. 

“What are you doing?”, I asked confused. 

Jacob sat there unmoving. “I’m sorry I just thought that we...” 

“No, no, I can’t. I don’t....”, I stammered backing up. 

I now suddenly realize what my dad had been trying to say to me this morning. He knows how Jacob feels and doesn’t want me to hurt him or myself. I thought back to all the hand holding and small touches, but I thought nothing more of it than friendship. 

“I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but I don’t think.....”. I can’t think of what I want to say to finish my thought. What am I thinking, really? I’m not sure. I’m starting to feel suffocated. I thought I was over this feeling, but now I’m reminded of...him. Jacob got up slowly and crossed over to me but leaving me space. 

“Look, I’m really sorry, but I do want to tell you that I love you. I just want you to be happy and I really thought that you loved me back.” 

“I do but not in the same way.” I guess it’s time to finally come out and say it. I took a deep breath and let it go slowly. “Jake, I’m not sure that I can do this. I’m not put together. I know I’ve gotten better since he left, but I'll never be right. He was everything to me and I think he still is. I mean I know he’s not coming back, but...” Tears start to sting my eyes and Jacob closed the distance between us. 

“I understand what you’re saying and I’m not trying to be rude but, I think you have idealized your relationship with him too much. I’m not saying you weren’t happy with him and I’m definitely not saying this to hurt you but, he left you. Not just broke up with you either, he literally left you in this town alone after spending every day with you. I don’t think it’s fair that he gets to have such a hold on you when he treats you like that. No reason in the world can excuse someone up and leaving the “love of their life”. What if he did come back? Would you just allow him to tear you apart again? Is that fair to you?” 

The silence dragged on as I took in his words. I’m not sure what to think. I’m not angry with him I just haven’t truly gotten over him. I don’t know if I'm ready to or if I even want to. Is it so bad that I don’t date anyone ever again? I never really thought I was meant for anyone anyway so what does it matter? 

“Bella, do you enjoy spending time with me?”, Jacob asked with a soft voice. 

“Of course, Jake.”, I replied. 

“Do you like this?” he said picking up my hands in his and swinging them. 

I laughed a little. “Yes.” I smiled up at him. 

“Is this okay?” He gave me a little peck on the forehead and I closed my eyes briefly. 

“Yes.”, I said softly. 

“Then why don’t we just stay there. If you choose to move on you let me know. Until then, I see no problem continuing along how were before now.” 

“Jake, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. I don’t want you waiting around for me forever.”, I said 

“Oh, doesn’t that sound familiar?”, he replied back. “I'm in charge of my own feelings, Bella. Just like you are in charge of yours. I’ll live.” He gave my head another kiss. 

“Okay, Jacob. Thank you.” I reached up and gave him a hug. “I’m going to get going okay?” 

“Absolutely. Drive safe, Bella. I love you.” 

I smiled and left. The tears would come later on the drive home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! I wrote this immediately after the other one but was too busy to actually post it. Im getting a little stuck so it might not seem good but i was kinda just writing it for my own amusement anyway. Sorry if the next chapters onward are disappointing.

It’s not that I didn’t love Jacob. And I loved that he loved me, but I was just too broken for someone like him. How can I sit next to him knowing how he feels while I think about someone else? How can I sleep in his arms when I remember sleeping in someone else’s? How could I let him kiss me when the icy lips I remember are gone? Forever. No. Don’t get sucked back down. I take deep breaths while I lay in my bed recounting the day, one of the best days I have had in so long. Is it wrong of me to accept Jacob’s love while I still felt love for someone else? I do something I haven’t voluntarily done in months. I try to remember being with....Edward. I remember the meadow, his sweet cool breath and velvet voice. I imagine him being here with me. What I would say to him if he had just appeared before me. 

I imagine him appearing out of thin air as always. Brushing the hair from out of my face with the gentle touch of his hand. It gives me goosebumps to feel the marble resting on my warm skin. 

“Bella.” I imagine his voice as if he were really here. 

I cannot think of anything I would say. I picture his hand running down my cheek and then placing it on my hip. The thought pulls at my chest, but doesn’t tear it open like it used to. I see his liquid topaz eyes bearing into mine. How they looked before he left me. 

“Bella.”, just a whisper onto my neck. I jerk away from him. 

“Why would you leave me here without you, without the rest of my family? You said you loved me but I can’t see how this is love.” 

“Bella.” My picture of him becomes fuzzier. Tears are welling up and I feel anger boiling up inside my throat. 

“I loved you with everything I had and I thought it was real. I thought you meant it when you said forever and now you’ve taken that away from me. Away from where I thought I could belong and where I felt loved. This isn’t who I thought you were.” I could feel the tears rolling down my face. 

“Bella.” I can barely recognize the blurred image of him in my mind. 

“Goodbye Edward.” 

I collapsed into tears. I shoved my face deep into my pillows and cried. My body is shaking and I am gasping for air. I push myself farther into the pillows sobbing. My shoulders and legs are tense. My eyes burn and jaw is sore After 10 minutes realize I need to try to calm down. I find my hands and slowly unwrap the grasp I have on my sheets. I find my arms and imagine relaxing the muscles. I release my shoulders, then jaw, and then my legs. I take deep breaths. I shakily fill my lungs and slowly let it go. A few more times. Now a few more. Now I am left on my bed exhausted and sore. I suppose a shower might relax me more so I can try to get some sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up the next morning still feeling sad. I didn’t feel as heavy and burdened as when he first left. It just felt temporary and easily pushed away. I picked up the phone to call Jacob. 

“Hello?” It was Billy 

“Hi, it’s Bella. Is Jake there.” I hadn’t even checked the time. He might still be asleep. 

“Yes, but Bella after you left yesterday, he was getting really sick. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come over for a while. He looks pretty bad and he really needs to rest up.” 

“Oh, okay. Definitely. Let him know I called and that I hope he feels bett-” 

Billy cut me off. “Sure thing. Bye Bella.” 

He had already hung up. “Bye.” 

I wonder what it was? Maybe it was food poisoning from the restaurant or something. I don’t know it was a really clean place. Maybe the flu? Then I guess I would be getting sick too. But I felt fine. I decided that I could clean the house with my new found free day. I grab the bucket from under the sink and get to work. I clean the bathroom and the kitchen. I also dust my room and the living room well. By the time everything is done it’s only 2, so I decide to try and read some of my old books. I hadn’t been reading them because all the romance reminded me of Edward, but I think I’m ready to read them now. I picked out Romeo and Juliet again. I felt a twinge but I figured it would eventually go away since it was one of my favorites. 

I settled into my favorite spot on the couch and started reading. After a few hours I reached the end, since I skipped through parts that were making me mad. I threw the book down onto the couch and decided that I would just start making dinner instead. Nothing really seemed the same anymore. The things that I used to love so much about this story just don’t seem like it makes sense anymore. How do these children think that they are “in love”? They have barely met and are now ready to fight and die for one another? First, Romeo uses her as a rebound and then he kills her cousin. All while Juliet is all of 13. Then, she fakes her death to be with this whiny crybaby, that she just met, who’s too dumb to wait 5 minutes before killing himself. How is this romance? How is this love? It's all hate, corruption and stupidity. Whatever. I just pushed it out of my mind and turned my focus back to the food I was cooking. 

I waited a few days for Jacob to call me, but he never did. By Wednesday I decided that I would call him after school at 5 so he has time to get home if he did go to school too. No call. I dialed the number but no one answered. I didn’t leave a message. Maybe tomorrow I’ll try again. I just went upstairs to finish the night. 

Thursday no answer. 

Friday. An answer! 

“Hello.”, Billy again. 

“Hi Billy!”, I said with unforeseen excitement. “Is Jake there? How’s he doing?” 

“He’s doing better Bella, but I think he still needs some time.” 

“Oh well if he’s still not well I can always come by and-.” 

“No!”, he interrupted. “I don’t think it’s okay for you to come over here.” 

I’m getting angry that he’s being so short with me. “Oh, well I don’t think it’s contagious I haven’t been sick or anyth-” 

“No. He can’t I’m sorry.” He interrupted again. 

“Why not.” I said in a sharp tone. Charlie looked over at me from the couch now with his brow furrowed. 

“I have to go Bella I’m sorry.” Billy hung up. 

I slammed the phone into the receiver staring at it. 

“It’s okay Bells. Just give them some space. You have been over there an awful lot.” Charlie said from the living room. 

“This isn’t like him. And this is the way he’s going to be to me then I need to hear him say it.” I grabbed my coat. “Not from Billy policing the phone. If he’s got a problem with me, he’s gonna say it to my face.” I closed the door behind me. 

I pull up to his house and I knock on the door and who should answer the door but Billy. 

“Bella, he's not here and it’s not a good idea for you to be here. Please go home.” He looked at me with a soft expression. 

“No, I'm sorry but if Jacob has a problem with me, I need him to just get on with it instead of putting me on hold for eternity.” I stood as hard as could, like a statue. “I will wait for him.” 

I turned and hopped back in my truck prepared to camp out in it all night. 

I flipped through all the radio stations not exactly looking for anything, but just preoccupying my mind from thinking about what I want to say. I jump scared. There’s a knock on my window. I see Jacob and get out. His hair is cut, he has a tattoo on his bicep and a scowl on his face. 

“Jacob. I thought you were too sick to get out of bed...or return any of my phone calls.” I looked up at him worried. 

“Well some things changed.” 

I knew it. “Okay I got it. Just go ahead and say it.” I held my breath. 

He looked out over my head “We can’t be together anymore.” 

I exhaled at the blow to my stomach. My sun is being taken from me. He’s not mine anymore. “May I ask why.” I whispered out clinging to my tears. 

“Why don’t you ask your family. The Cullens.” He spat out. 

I averted my gaze from him. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t feel that way about Edward anymore, but it isn’t enough. He knows I’m stuck and he doesn’t want to wait on me anymore. I want him to know, but I don’t say anything. I’m not sure what I want right now and that’s not enough for him. 

“I’m sorry.”, is all I can think to say still not able to look at him. Here I am asking for him to waste his time on someone who’s not emotionally available. So selfish. I finally let the tears fall. “I’ll go.”, I say getting into my truck.” 

I knew it. I wanted to hear him say it himself and now that I have, I wished it wasn’t true. I laid in my bed just crying quietly. Thinking about my Jacob missing from me. I drifted off to sleep. I gasped awake. My clock said 3:18 am. I heard the tapping that woke me; it was my window. I jumped up when I his face looking back at me. I ran over to throw open the stiff window. 

“Jacob Black what in the hell are you doing!?” He was perched on top of one of the tree’s branches. 

“Step back so I can jump in.”, he said. 

“No, don’t be crazy. Just use the damn front door.” I started to walk to my door when he jumped into my room. It was so graceful even though he was so tall and muscular now. It sort of reminded me of how a vampire would climb. 

“Look we need to talk.”, Jacob said. 

“You already said enough today. I get it okay. You don’t have to elaborate.”, I said with as much strength as I could muster. I didn’t want to look helpless because of him. No one is ever going to get that power over me again. 

“No, you don’t understand everything.” 

“What exactly do I not understand.” 

“It has to do with my family and the reservation. I was sick, but not in the way that you think I was. My family thinks that it’s a bad idea for me to hangout with you now. It’s not something I am able to tell. Haven’t you ever had a secret that wasn’t exactly yours to tell?”, he looked at me and raised his eyebrows. My mind immediately flashed to the faces of the Cullens, with their bruised shadowed eyes and pristine, pearly skin. 

“Okay. I get that.”, I say begrudgingly. “So then why exactly are you here then?” 

“Because I don’t exactly care what they think. I do miss you and I want to see you, but not unless you know.” 

“So then tell me.” 

“I already have told you. Remember the day when we walked on the beach in La Push and I told you about our legends?”, he asked. 

I pushed my eyebrows together. “Yes?” 

“Tell it to me.”, he sat down on the edge of my bed. 

“Uh? Okay. Well you said that the ancients of your tribe were living here and then they found the cold ones who were different from other ones. So, they let them stay with a treaty.”, I finished. 

“Is that all you remember?”, Jacob asked. 

I thought for a minute about the story, trying to recall the details of it. 

“I remember something about them not allowed to kill humans,” trying not to give too much away “and something about, like, wolves and that-” 

Jacob jumped up from the bed so fast that it startled me. “Yes! Yes, and?” 

“Uh. They were descended from wolves?”, I asked confused. 

“Yes!”, he exclaimed with a huge smile on his face. 

“I don’t understand”, I said. I looked into his smiling face and he looked back waiting. I looked at his hair, tattoo, and muscles, combing him up and down with my eyes. I concentrated trying to figure out what was in front of me. Then I thought of the wolves that I had seen in the clearing chasing Laurent while Jake was sick. I remembered the russet one that seemed to look into my eyes and I looked into Jacob’s now. “Wolves?” 

He raised is eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders with a smile. 

“You? Are a wolf?”, saying the words out loud felt ridiculous. 

Jacob wrapped his arms around me quickly and firmly. “I knew you would figure it out.”, he whispered into my hair. “You’re always so observant. I bet it gets you into a lot of trouble.” 

“More than you can imagine.”, I said back to him. He let me go and then looked at me upset. 

“What’s wrong?”, he asked. 

“It’s just that, I thought you didn’t want to be my friend anymore because I was so stuck on Edward.” 

He looked surprised at first and then he laughed. 

“What?”, I asked irritated he was laughing at me. 

“You always assume the worst.”, he said hugging me again. “I love you Bella. I’ll always love you. That’s why I had to get you to figure it out. I’m sorry I didn’t help sooner, but it was a very tough time and I was scared of everything.” 

“No please don’t be sorry. I truly do understand. I’m sorry that you had to do it alone.” 

“Well, I wasn’t exactly alone.”, he said. 

Jacob told me about the pack and all the cool things about his transformation. We ended up lying down in bed cuddling while he told me about Jared and Paul fighting over the last bagel and Emily’s house for the 3rd day in a row. Eventually we both fell asleep. 

When I woke up, my eyes grazed over his face. He looks so beautiful and peaceful. I reached a hand up to play with his hair. I do miss it being long, but I understand the need to have it out of the way now. We stayed like that for about 10 minutes when I decided that I should probably just take a shower. Then I stopped suddenly remembering that it was Saturday and Charlie was home. Jake may be family to Charlie, but I know he would be livid if he knew Jake had not only spent the night, but also was in my bed. I ran across to the window to see if his cruiser was here and it wasn’t and I exhaled a breath I didn’t know I had been holding. He must be fishing today. 

After my mini panic attack, I finally get into the shower and get dressed in the bathroom. Jake is still asleep so I go and make some food for us. Emily must go through a lot of food feeding all of them all day, every day. I imagined how it would feel to be a part of their pack, a part of their family. When breakfast is done, I sit down to eat mine and Jacob come down the stairs. 

“Good morning!”, he beams at me. 

I can’t help but smile back at him. “Good morning. I made some breakfast for us.” 

“I see it looks awesome.” He sits down and we eat together. 

“Hey, I have to do some perimeter work today with the pack so I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to Emily’s house. I’m sure she could use some help.”, Jacob said between huge bites. 

“Sure, that actually sounds like fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bitch to write because I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted Jake to be a wolf at all and this interaction is already in the book so its just changed to fit my version and i tbh hate it lol. I want to write fluff and smut lol. so it will be coming eventually. i just wanted it all to connect. idk im rambling sorry.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a lot happier with this chapter because it was fun to write. Hope you guys like it.

After we eat, I get ready to go to Emily’s with Jacob so he can work. I decided to wear a short-sleeved shirt for the first time this year since it was supposed to be a little warmer today. I’ll still bring a rain jacket just in case though. I came down stairs and saw Jake leaning against the wall day dreaming. He was only wearing his shoes and shorts so I stole a few looks over his muscles. His skin was so beautiful and always smelled wonderful, like the earthiness of the woods. He snaps his attention to me when he notices me coming down the stairs. “You look really nice today.”, he said walking over to me and grabbing both my hands. 

“Thank you.”, I said smiling big. 

“You ready to go?” 

“Yep.” 

Jacob dropped one of my hands and led me to my truck. He drove despite my reservations. I automatically curled up next to him when we got in. 

“So how was the week while I was sick?”, he said with one hand on the wheel and one around me. 

“It was okay, I guess. I was just worried about you a lot and I was scared when your dad wouldn’t let me talk to you.”, I said. 

“Oh well my dad’s the reason Charlie was gone this morning. He called last night and scheduled a trip early in the morning so that way I could have a chance to talk to you privately.”, Jakes said. 

This surprised me. “I didn’t think Billy was starting to like me very much. He kept saying he didn’t want me to come over.” 

“Well you have to remember that we are dangerous and he doesn’t want you in anymore danger than you have been in in the past.” He threw a little glance my way and I looked away jokingly. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, I said with a smile. 

He laughed. “I’m really happy that you know now. I don’t ever want to keep anything from you.” 

I felt a flutter in my chest. “Me either.”, I said. 

When we arrived at Emily’s, I helped her cook and she told me all about Sam and taking care of the pack. Jacob immediately had leave to help them. 

“You know I never saw my life going this way.” Emily had started mixing something in a huge bowl while I cut up some fruit she handed me. “I wasn’t raised to serve, you know? My mother didn’t teach me that I needed to care for my husband and just be a “housewife”, but I find it nice all the same. It’s not hard to fit it into my schedule since I work part time at the school.” 

“What do you do at the school?”, I said to scared to look up from my knife. 

“I work in the cafeteria, at the elementary level.” 

“Oh, so you’re a lunch lady?” 

“Pretty much, that’s what the kids call me anyway. I love the job so much because of them. The cooking is second nature, but nothing beats the children. Watching them all grow, play, and learn. It feels really rewarding to be able to give them something like food. Not a lot of our children can afford food at home so it’s nice to be someone they can depend on for something so important. I know all of them too, by first and last name. I know their families, their favorite fruit, favorite veggie, and their dreams. I only see each one for a few seconds, but kids share a lot if you listen to them.” 

“Wow. You really care about them a lot don’t you.”, I said. 

“I do. I feel like I am important to them. At least I hope I am.”, she looks at me and pours the contents of her bowl into a pan. 

“I guess the pack is like a bunch of kids too, huh?”, I said laughing. 

“You got that right. I guess that’s why I don’t mind it. They’re all sort of like my children.”, she laughed too. 

Emily removed the pan from the stove top to the table and helped me finish up the fruit. By the time we finished the boys made their way to us. Sam gave Emily a big kiss which made all the other guys moan in disgust. After everyone ate absolutely everything she had prepared, Jared and Leah started a game of uno at the table. Jacob grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door. 

“Let’s get out of here for a minute.”, Jake said. 

We walked away from the house a short distance to where the tree line started in the yard. I loved walks with Jake. He seemed to compliment the backdrop of the woods so well, like he was born for it. His skin was so warm in my hand it made me melt into him even on the coldest days. 

“Emily is really nice.”, I said bringing the back of his hand to my face. 

“Oh, yeah?”, he smiled at me. 

“Yeah. She’s easy to be around. She fills in all the talking and lets me just listen.” I leaned into him and he wrapped around me. 

“Hey, I wanted to ask you. Do you want to stay this evening for a bonfire? Were gonna have some food and tell some stories and it’s gonna be really cool.”, Jake said. 

“Yeah that sounds awesome. I’d love to.” 

“Great.”, he said. 

Jacob brushed my hair back and kissed my forehead. I felt a lightness in my heart and butterflies in my stomach. Not thinking I put my hands on his face and moved my thumbs over his beautifully high cheeks. I looked into his warm, brown eyes and smiled. He bent down and kissed the tip of my nose, which took my breath away. Then he rested his head against mine closing his eyes. 

“Jake.”, I whispered to him. “I love being with you.” 

“Me too, Bells.” 

I really liked having him so close to me and he smelled enticing. I realize that I used to feel that way about someone else. Maybe I was ready for something to happen between us. I felt like I was on autopilot letting my hormones take control. My heart was beating faster and my breathing was matching. 

“Jake?” I said breathed out. 

“Mhm?” 

I looked at him and said, “I think..that...I love you?” It stammered out sounding more like a question that a declaration. 

“Like you love me, like I love you?” he looked at me hopeful yet, reserved. 

It clicked in my head and solidified. “I do. I love you Jacob.” 

My heart was racing now from what I had said as Jacob grabbed me into a forceful hug. He sat me back down and kissed me. He kissed with all he had and I kissed him back. I grabbed the back of his neck and he, my head and I kissed him like I had wanted it for months. All the emotion flooded into me as I realized I had always loved Jacob and I always will. He is my sun and he will always be here to brighten my life. 

“I love you, Bella.” 

“I love you too, Jake.” 

We kissed again. His lips were warm and soft as he moved them passionately with mine. I feel so full of life and love. 

Jake broke the kiss first. “Let’s get back to the house for now, okay sweetie.”, he said with a quick cheek peck. Don’t get too worked up now. I know I’m so handsome, but save something for later.”, he said with a smug grin. 

We started to make the walk back to our house. 

“So, are you like my boyfriend now?”, I asked coyly. 

“Oh, absolutely, and you’re my girlfriend.” He nudged me playfully. “Of course, I had always looked at you as if you were my girlfriend anyway. The only difference is now I finally get to hear you say it.” He walked with his chest puffed out a little bit, looking down at me, making me blush. 

As we walked up to the house, we heard someone inside yelling. We jogged up the rest of the way to see what was the matter. We open the doors and everyone is standing around the table watching Leah and Quill finishing the uno game. 

“Don’t do it I swear to god!” 

Leah and everyone are laughing. Seth is behind Leah looking at her cards trying to suppress laughter so he won’t make Quill even angrier. 

“Don’t! I know what you’re going to do and I swear!”, Quill said slapping his hand onto the table. 

Leah puts down a draw 4 card. 

“Uno.” She lays down the last card. “Uno out.”, she says with a straight face. 

“GODDAMMIT!” Quill flips the table over and storms out of the house. Everyone in the house is roaring with laughter except for Emily and Sam who are now trying to put their table right side up again. Although, I thought I saw Emily flash a small smile.*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *the uno scenario was given to me by https://incorrectwolfpack.tumblr.com/ with her permission.  
> She is frickin hilarious and has quality wolfpack content if you wish for more. I plan on mentioning more of her posts because they are so funny to me. hopefully i do them justice when i write them. I will be linking her to this fanfic as well so that she knows i have credited her. but seriously
> 
> https://incorrectwolfpack.tumblr.com/  
> just go to it already. I know you want to.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this one. This one reminds me of my relationship with my husband. Hes silly like jacob which i think is why ive always been team jacob. i hope you enjoy and thank you for all the kudos

As the sun was setting on the reservation, the pack started putting together the logs for the fire, moving the large wide ones for seats around it. The fire started small and smoky, then turned into a huge inferno providing a great amount of warmth to the chilly night. Sue, Emily, and I helped prepare the chicken onto skewers to cook in the fire. The hot dogs and marshmallows were left up to everyone else to cook on their own as they wanted them. 

I sat down on the log next to Jacob after eating a bit of everything and scooted right up under him for even more warmth. I looked up him watching the firelight dance across the shadows on his face and kissed him. I felt a strong fluttering in my chest that made me smile. Soon everyone else was joining around the fire and settling into their spots. I noticed that while everyone was sitting Leah was left standing, which I didn’t care for. I wanted to invite her to sit with us, but I had the feeling she would hate me even saying that so I just turned my attention to Billy. 

Billy started telling us different Quileute stories that were fascinating. One was about the burial ground of the Chiefs on top of James Island. Another was about how their ancestors were the best sailors on the west coast and modern boats were made efficient by using their designs. Many of the stories opened my eyes to how life really was on the reservation. Everyone here is a family because they have to be one. No one else defends them. Even their language was taken from them. 

After being fully radicalized by Billy’s stories, the moon was high in the sky and the bonfire had simmered down to a soft glow. As we arrived at my truck, I turned to my Jacob to say goodbye. 

“I had a lot of fun tonight. 

“Really? Most of the time being forced to these things made me not want to really come anymore. I guess it’s different now that I know everything is really true and it applies to me.” 

“Yeah I really enjoy being with your family. I mean I know they’re not all technically your family.” 

He laughed, “No, you’re right. They really are my family.” He looked back at the gang jumping around throwing small firecrackers into the fire and at each other. “Maybe that’s why they get on my damn nerves so much.” 

We both laughed now watching Seth runaway from Jared who is chasing him with a pack of 50 M80s 

“Dammit yall, what the hell are you doing! Jared!”, Sam was yelling at him. 

“Don’t worry, Paul has 50 more. Were gonna throw them at his feet!”, Jared said unaware he was doing anything wrong. 

“NO!” Sam was now chastising everyone. 

Back in our little bubble Jacob took my face in his hands and kissed me. “Goodnight Bella. I love you.” 

“I love you too Jake.” I hopped in my truck and said, “Don’t stay up too late.” 

I got home and collapsed into my bed exhausted. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep. For the first time in a long time it was a refreshing, dreamless sleep. 

The next morning, I woke up and got dressed and had a thought. I went downstairs and called Jacob. 

“Hello”, he said. 

“Hey it's me. I was wondering if you wanted to go on a little hike with me today?” 

“That sounds perfect. When did you want to go?”, he sounded genuinely excited by my impulsivity. 

“I was thinking around 2, but I have something else I wanted to do first. Can I come get you now?” 

“Sure, I'll be ready by the time you get here.” 

“Okay, bye!”, I was smiling. 

“Bye baby.” 

We hung up and I felt like my smile was going to be permanently etched onto my face. Something about Jacob calling me that made me blush and feel so incredibly light-hearted. 

I made my way to Jacob’s house and hopped out of the truck. He was already on his way out of the house when I ran up to him and jumped into his arms. I kissed all over his face. His lips, nose, cheeks, anywhere I could find a spot. I guess my hormones were mostly in the driver’s seat now. He sat me down while we both giggled and hugged each other. 

“You seem to be in a very good mood today.”, Jacob said. 

“I am in a very good mood right now and I am taking you book shopping with me.” 

We drove into Port Angeles so we would have a half decent store to look through. I took him to the bookstore I ventured to my first time in Port Angeles when I got into some trouble. 

“Okay, so you find a book for me to read and I'll find a book for you to read.”, I said. 

“Do you want me to find something I think you'll like or do you want me to find you something I would like.”, Jake asked suspiciously. 

“I was thinking we could make it a challenge.” I said confidently. “Whoever finishes their book first wins. The pages have to be the same though, at least close. It’s all about making it through a book you won’t like. I already have a few in mind I think you’ll hate so go ahead and find yours while I find mine and we’ll compare at the end.” 

Jacob fake laughed. “You are so on.” 

We raced thought the bookstore. I immediately started looking for a section for the classics. Jacob went to the opposite end of the bookstore. I find and grab “Catcher in the Rye”, “A Farewell to Arms”, and “The Great Gatsby”. Even I can’t stand these classics. I find Jacob holding a stack of books of his own, two of which are “First Step 2 Forever” by Justin Bieber and “A Shore Thing” by Snooki. I have seriously underestimated Jacob. After comparing the length of the books, we decide that he would read “A Farewell to Arms” and I would read “Car Hacks and Mods for Dummies”. We left the bookstore and headed off to the next destination. 

“Alright so where are we hiking to?”, Jake said leaning against the door. 

“The cliff with the rock! I figured we could lay out and read our books.” 

“Perfect. Now I can watch you read your new book. I know you’re going to love it.”, he said sarcastically. 

We arrived at our little spot and sat next to our rock on top of a blanket. 

“Wow you weren’t kidding about these flowers. They are everywhere and so big.”, I said lying down on my stomach with my new book. 

Jake followed, “I know. I always thought they were so beautiful. They really gave me something to look forward to.” 

We started reading our books after a while Jacob yelled out, “Oh my God! This book is so dull. Is anything exciting ever going to happen? How long has it been, like an hour?” 

I look at my watch, “10 minutes.”, I laughed. Although I was feeling the same way. The first 5 pages are just what the book is going to be about. Just start writing the book! 

“I need a break I feel like I’m going to start dozing off otherwise.”, Jake said inching closer to me. 

I side-eyed him as he tried to nuzzle into my neck. “Are you trying to break my concentration?” 

He started kissing my neck. “Absolutely.” 

“Jacob,”, I said as stern as I could, “I’m trying to read.” I could feel his warm, soft lips tracing my neck to my jaw and then my lips. 

I started to kiss him back softly, then moving my lips with his more. He rolled onto his back as I draped myself over top of him. He runs his hands up my back giving me goosebumps and making my heart race. I kissed him back harder and faster running my hands over his chest, what a pity he was actually wearing a shirt now. I could still feel his warmth and the shape of his muscles underneath my hand. I come up and straddle him now kissing his neck down to his shirt collar which I wish wasn’t there. I could feel him pressing up against me from where I’m sitting on him. 

“Hold on. This isn’t where I want to do this.” I said sitting up gasping a little bit. 

“Oh yeah? Doesn’t seem that way from down here.”, Jake said back jokingly, but also looking a little flushed. 

“Whatever. At least I’m responsible enough to stop. If it weren’t for me, you’d have been naked in about 5 more second.”, I said back superior. 

“At least I’m not a prude who’s too scared to do it outside.”, Jake retorted. 

“First of all, I’m definitely not a prude just because I don’t want to be naked outside like some people.” I raised my eyebrows at him. “Second, it’s kinda chilly and wet and I don’t like being chilly.” I said weakly crossing my arms. 

“But you like being wet?” he laughed at me. 

“Jacob Black! You are nasty and embarrassing!” I started playfully hitting him. “This is why you don’t have any friends, only people obligated to be around you.” He laughed as I got off of him and sat back on the blanket blushing with a frowny face. 

He sat up on one arm. “You’re not obligated to be around me.”, he said smiling at my poor excuse of fake anger. 

“Yeah, yeah.” I said back. I cut my eyes at him and saw him looking at me with a sweet innocent look. I can’t resist it. “Alright I’m not really mad, but I think we actually should get to heading back.” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

“Damn we didn’t even read our books that much.”, I said while grabbing everything up. 

“That’s fine with me I might have to give you the win for this one, it’s awful. Plus, I’m sure there is no way you are enjoying your book.” 

“You’re right I hate it. You have it though. It’s definitely something you’ll find useful.” 

We got in the car and I drove Jacob to Emily’s so he could immediately start patrolling. 

Jacob was looking sullen on the drive there. “Bella can I ask you something?” 

“Yeah, what’s up?”, I parked the car and waited, watching him brood. 

“I know you have a hard time talking about certain things, but I was just wondering if you and Edward had ever been together?”, his eyes were glued to his lap. He looked like a child that was scared to tell his mom he missed the bus. 

I took a deep breath. “Look Jacob. I’m not uncomfortable talking about him anymore. And no, we never did anything but kiss, he was very old fashioned. But, would my answer have changed your mind if we had?” 

He looked me in the eyes now. “Absolutely not.” He softened now and joked, “I was just curious if I had any competition I should be worried about.” 

“Ah, yes, now you can be mediocre with confidence.” 

“Hey we don’t know that yet.” We both laughed. “Alright. I’ll see you later Bells. And thanks for our date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw i do absolutely no editing. i just write in order and let it happen. so sorry if it makes things look messy. i dont have the will to edit.


End file.
